The Idiotic Me
by Retsu Ukitake
Summary: Seinosuke, Kaien and Lisa were friends since a few decades ago. They were lieutenants of the three senior captains. The three of them became a team and their adventures began! The title fits Seinosuke in this story. Probably Seinosuke x Lisa, LOL :v . Sorry if summary sucks! Sets during the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc! So, maybe a few spoilers.. Enjoy and review, please! :)


A/N: This story may contain spoilers for the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc. I don't know about it yet, but be careful if you don't want to be spoiled… =w= The first chapter is about Seinosuke and Unohana. Next chapter will be more about him with Kaien and Lisa…

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The Idiotic Me

Chapter 1: Idiot's happy time with his Captain.

"U… No… Ha.. Na.. Taichou~" Seinosuke called for his captain as he walked through the 4th Division hallway. The way he called for her was just like how Shunsui called Nanao. But Seinosuke's face aren't looking idiot like Shunsui's face.

Unohana went out of her room and closed the door behind her. Then, she saw Seinosuke wandering around. "Yamada? Are you skipping works again?" Unohana glared at him.

His face was starting to sweat. "Eh, what? N.. No, I…" He stammered.

Unohana started to use her death smile. "What? You couldn't answer it?"

"I… I… I need to go!" Yamada jumped and broke a window (to get through it) so he could run away from his scary captain.

"You broke the window! Stop! Come back here, Yamada! If you don't, I'm going to kill you when I caught you!" Unohana jumped out of the window and chased him. Everyone in the 4th Division, the nurses, the Division members and patients sweat dropped as they watched Unohana and Seinosuke 'playing tag'. But then they smiled when they saw Seinosuke grinning and Unohana smiling while chasing him. 'Looks like they're having a good time together.' They thought.

"Eh?" Seinosuke saw Kaien wandering around, probably searching for Unohana or Seinosuke. 'Maybe he's here to get Ukitake-Taicho's medicine..' He thought. Then, he shouted at Kaien. "Shiba-San!"

Kaien turned around and his face paled as Seinosuke jumped at him. "Y.. Yamada-San! Don't-!" Too bad, Seinosuke already dropped his body on Kaien's body. "Ya.. Mada-San.."

"Daske de, Shiba-San! Unohana-Taicho is going to kill me because I broke a window! And when she got here, she's going to-"

"She's already here, Yamada-San…"

"Eh?" Seinosuke turned around and saw Unohana using her death smile towards him. "Well hello there, Shiba-San. You must be here to pick up Ukitake-Taicho's medicine, right? Please wait here for a while. Would you mind if I have a conversation with Yamada for a while?"Unohana asked Kaien.

"Oh no, of course I don't mind about it. Please do, Unohana-Taicho." Kaien said calmly, but he is smirking evilly.

"Shiba-San! You're mean!" Anime-Style tears filled his Seinosuke's eyes. He turned to face Unohana. "Oh come on, Taicho! It's just a window! It's not that it's something big or expensive!"

Unohana hit his head. "Just a window!? Do you know how much money does Yamamoto-Soutaicho used to buy those windows!? And you can easily break it!?"

"Whatever… Don't worry! I'll repair it later, so calm down!"

Unohana sighed. "Fine. But don't forget to repair it!" She turned to Kaien. "Here's the medicine. Tell Ukitake-Taicho to be take care and that I'll always love him, okay?"

Kaien smiled. "Sure. Thank you very much, Unohana-Taicho." Kaien bowed and Shunpo'ed away.

"D'aww… That's so sweet of you, Taicho~" Seinosuke smirked at her and Unohana blushed madly.

"Shut up, Yamada." She turned on her heels and walked away. "Come, Yamada. Let's take a walk around Seireitei since you're too lazy to work."

Seinosuke smiled happily and followed her. "Let's go!"

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Seinosuke and Unohana are walking together around Seireitei, and then they found a little boy crying, in front of one of the shops. Seinosuke crouched and asked the boy, "What's the matter little kid? Why are you crying?"

The boy answered "I'm lost, and I can't find my mother..."

"What's your name?"

The boy looked up and saw Seinosuke smiling at him. "Ha.. Hanataro... Yamada Hanataro."

'Perhaps this boy is..' "Okay Hanataro, stop crying. I, Yamada Seinosuke and my captain here, Unohana Retsu, will help you find your mom, okay? 'It was supposed to be our mom, Hana-Chan.'

"Are you a bad guy?"

Seinosuke laughed. "No, of course not. Well, I'm a good guy, but my captain here.."

"What...?" Unohana asked, annoyed.

"... She is super scary! Every time I do good things, she'll try to kill me, and if you don't accept my help, she will kill y-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Unohana hit his head as Hanataro started crying. "Don't scare him like that, Yamada!"

"Nah, I'm just kidding, Hana-Chan!" Seinosuke grinned. "My captain is a super nice witch! She is very kind to me...!"

Hanataro smiled. "Really?"

Seinosuke nodded. "Yep!"

Then, a woman ran towards them. "Hanataro!" She saw Seinosuke. "Seinosuke...?"

"Okaasan..."

She hugged Seinosuke tightly. Seinosuke! Where have you been!? I really missed you!"

"Okaasan, I'm a Shinigami, that's why I'm not home."

She lets go of him. "You're a lieutenant?"

Seinosuke nodded and grinned happily. "Yup! And this is my captain!" He pointed at Unohana.

Unohana and Seinosuke's mother bowed to each other and introduced themselves.

"Hanataro, this is your brother, Seinosuke." Naruse, Seinosuke's mother said at Hanataro.

Hanataro's face lighten up. "Onii-Chan...? You're a lieutenant?"

Seinosuke nodded. "Yup! I'm a lieutenant!"

Hanataro grinned. "Wow! One day, I wanted to be like you, Onii-Chan!"

Seinosuke nodded. "What a good dream, Hana-Chan!"

Naruse hugged Seinosuke one last time. "We need to go now, Seinosuke. Take care, okay?"

Seinosuke chuckles. "You too, Okaasan."

As she let go, Hanataro hugged his brother. "I love you, Onii-Chan."

Seinosuke smiles. "I love you too, Hana-Chan. Take care of Okaasan, okay?"

Hanataro nodded. "Bye, Onii-Chan!" He waved at his brother.

Seinosuke waved back and turned away as they disappeared. "Let's go home, Taichou."

Unohana nodded.

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Unohana and Seinosuke walked together towards the 4th Division. "So, that's your mother... And brother."

Seinosuke nodded. "Yeah. Actually, I've only met Hana-Chan when he was still a baby. Then, I became a Shinigami, and never met him until now."

Unohana patted him on the back. "Daijoubu, Yamada. You'll met him again... When he became a Shinigami. One day."

Seinosuke nodded. "Hai. One day, Taichou. One day..."

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**A/N: That's all for now, minna! I hope you like this story. Next chapter will reveal the three lieutenants' adventure. Bye for now! Review please! I need ideas! :3**


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